


LUSH Me Forever

by reynkout



Series: Retail Store Epics [8]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Retail, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blowjobs, Choking, Coworkers to lovers, Flirting, Lush Cosmetics, M/M, No Plot/Plotless, Oral Sex, Part of the twitsquad is in this thing, Pining, Retail Store Epics, Retail Store Trilogies, Secret Crush, Sex, Shameless Smut, Teasing, Workplace Sex, you can actually tell i like LUSH waaaay too much
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-12
Updated: 2015-09-12
Packaged: 2018-04-20 10:12:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4783571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reynkout/pseuds/reynkout
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jean works for LUSH Fresh Handmade Cosmetics in Trost where they're out of Charity Pot Lotion. They're discontinuing items this summer, and Eren, his manager, is driving him nuts by forcing him to wear a ridiculous costume; Jean is dressed up to be the Sex Bomb bath bomb during his shift. This could be the worst workday of his life.</p><p>Little does Jean know, his coworker Marco has been making goo-goo eyes at him for more than a while. When Jean hurries to the backroom for his lunch break, now is the time for Marco to make his move.<br/>Meaning, he's in for his own little LUSH prize.</p>
            </blockquote>





	LUSH Me Forever

**Author's Note:**

> G'morning/afternoon/evening, y'all!  
> (It's my birthday... yaaaay!)  
>  **Just to clarify: Jean's costume is based off of a real costume made by LUSH Cosmetics, which you can see[HERE](https://instagram.com/p/6DvoLwN-rV/?taken-by=lushcosmetics).**  
>  It's Kristine, back with another story to add to [The Retail Store Epics](http://archiveofourown.org/series/123387)! This time, the store: our favorite, LUSH Cosmetics. There has been _so_ much hype about LUSH (and I'm part of it) that I decided it's time to do a JM story around LUSH.  
>  This was a lot of fun to write, and I even added some people from the twitsquad in the fic as well that I know either love LUSH or are interested in LUSH. Thank you all for wanting to take part of this and supporting my writing! It means a lot to me. <3
> 
> So enjoy this long-winded, very detailed PWP. If you aren't into LUSH and are curious about what Jean and the rest of the crew are talking about/selling in the fic, feel free to [visit your country's site](http://lush.com/) and look at all their amazing products!  
> Thanks for stopping by! See you in the comments below.

Jean loved his summer job. He loved dealing with all the complaints about the Charity Pot lotion being sold out today. He loved how people were accusing him as if it was his fault that they were out of stock. And he really, really loved being huddled up in this bath bomb costume, which brought him to about everyone's waists, his legs being scrunched up inside the costume to make him look more ‘realistic’, whatever that meant. Who could be realistic in a bath bomb suit?

“Kirschstein!” Eren, his manager, called him over right before he clocked in for work.

Sure, everyone at LUSH was friendly but, somehow, Jean and Eren just did not mix. Eren would flaunt his authority when Jean was around; make him do things like demos and make him make conversation with everyone in the store even when they didn’t want his help. Jean loved his job, but he just couldn’t stand Eren Jaeger, store manager of LUSH Trost.

“What?” griped Jean, shoulders already slouching from realizing who was talking to him. “Is there a problem, Eren?”

“Oh, no. No problems,” There was a big grin plastered to Eren’s face. “Just, I think you would be the right person for this particular job.”

Jean quirked a brow. What the fuck did that mean? “Uh..?” This was strange. Eren never said such things to him like that. Either something in the fiber of his being had changed, or something was so terribly horrific that Jean was in for hell on his shift.

“You said you were tired of being the cashier last time, right?” Eren brought up Jean’s minor complaint from two days ago. “So I thought you’d like to do something… different.”

“What’cha mean by ‘different’?” asked Jean, clearly even more confused than before. If this had anything to do with getting let go, he would throw a fit in the store, no matter who was shopping in there.

Eren’s green eyes glint with excitement, vengeance maybe? “Come to the back,” he said simply. “I’ve got something for you.”

Following his manager into the back storage, Jean wondered if he really was going to get fired. There were so many reasons Eren could come up with to fire him, in all honesty. Jean was nice to customers, sure, but he didn’t always go out of his way to give free samples with every purchase when half of Eren’s sales were made that way. Maybe he wasn’t cut out to be a real Lushie, and was only hired because of his unique resume (he folded his resume into a shape similar to a Hershey’s Kiss chocolate, dusting the paper with pastel mica powder and sticking a real lavender sprig in the middle to mimic a lighter version of A French Kiss bubble bar, one of his favorite bath products).

But what Jean saw was something he was totally not something he expected. It was, well... not what he was expecting.

There, on a special hanger, was a very large, flat ball-shaped Sex Bomb bath bomb made out of fabric. It seemed to have five cutouts, one for headspace, two for the arms, and two for… legs, presumably. Jean was going to be a Sex Bomb, and Eren was smiling at him lecherously.

“Are you, are you kidding me?” Jean almost shrieked. “Aw, come on, Eren, you can’t be serious.”

“Oh, I am.” Eren pushed him toward the bath bomb suit. “Go on, Sex Bomb. You’re gonna be our demoing mascot today.”

“Ughhh,” Trudging over to his new work outfit, Jean rolled his eyes, a very irritated look on his face settling there permanently for the day. “Can’t I just be something like, I dunno, Space Girl or Big Blue? Even Think Pink... Anything but Sex Bomb! This sucks.”

“Do I hear complaining, Jean?” Eren teased, his being, deemed by Jean, as wicked as the tone of his voice. Wicked.

Jean grumbled, “No.” He slipped into the Sex Bomb with some difficulty, his clothes snagging to the costume fabric already.

Not only did he feel uncomfortable, he probably looked it too. His arms, nicely toned from many hours at the gym, looked like wet noodles hanging on either side of the bath bomb costume, bendy and limp. He looked as if he had no neck, purely a head stuck on the top of the Sex Bomb. And his legs, oh, his legs. They were scrunched up so much inside the outfit that only his feet stuck out from the bottom of the bath bomb costume. He was a gigantic pink-purple ball with a strange-looking pink rose in the middle of it.

“Fuck,” Jean swore when he looked down, realizing he couldn’t see past the round belly the costume gave him. Eren, on the other hand, stared at him before laughing his head off at the sight of Jean.

Holding his stomach, he bellowed between his laughing fits, “Look at you! Look at you! Oh my god, that is sooo perfect for you, Jean!” Tears began to form at the corner of Eren’s eyes when he laughed even harder. Jean grit his teeth, knowing he might as well be fired if he pummeled Eren, with his fists, into the ground right now… in the Sex Bomb costume. Yeah, because that would _totally_ solve everything. He bit his tongue to keep from saying anything. “Alright-o, Mr. Sex Bomb, go get out there and… woo some customers.” Eren told his employee, laughing all the while.

Grumbling, Jean attempted to stroke through his blond-brown hair, but his hand only made it to his cheek. Damn costume was getting in the way of his nervous habit reflexes. He looked ridiculous in this outfit; like a giant, pink bowling ball. He would rather take the cash register position any day, if only he could switch with someone willing to be a Sex Bomb.

But there was no way out. Eren had cornered him into this situation, and there was nothing Jean could do about it. He would have to live with it and do bath bomb demos in this stupid bath bomb costume and sell bath bombs to all the customers that came in, making sure he played a pretty smile on his face the entire time despite how he was feeling on the inside.

Turning the knob of the door, Jean stepped out and onto the shop floor, eyes already fixed on the ground in shame. He couldn’t be any more embarrassed, dressed up like this. He just wanted his shift to be over with already.

“Um, Jean?” Of course. Of fucking course, the first one to speak up and talk to him would be Marco. Marco Bodt, Jean’s too perky, too preppy, too happy-go-lucky coworker that was automatically everyone’s favorite LUSH guy to go to.

“What?” snapped Jean, frowning at Marco.

Marco’s cheeks lit up in a light pink. “I, um… nice costume.” He pointed at the rose in the middle of Jean’s Sex Bomb.

Groaning, Jean shrugged. “Thanks,”

“Y-yeah, good luck out there.” Marco rubbed at the back of his neck, a lopsided smirk playing on his lips.

Jean grunted and nodded, or at least nodded as much as was possible given that he was up to his chin in felt. The lurid Sex Bomb waddled awkwardly to the bath bomb corner, bringing with it a faint whiff of resentment.

"Hi. Can you recommend a bath bomb to me?" A heavily made-up blonde strutted up to the shelf, 3-inch D.I.A. boots clicking. "I'm looking for something cute.. But a little edgy."

Jean's nostrils flared as he fought to contain his annoyance. "How about the... How about Granny Takes a Dip?" He attempted to pick up one of the psychedelic bath bombs, but was forced to give up as his arms were simply too hindered by his pastel girth. "It's... one of my favorites."

"Hmm..." The customer leaned over Jean's overly-padded shoulder, squinting doubtfully. "Can I see a demo of that? I don't want it to be like, hideous, you know?"

If it weren't for the costume and several important laws, Jean would have slapped him at this proximity already. "I'll... See what I can do." He tried to turn around to grab a bath bomb and his oversized costume sent more than a few bath bombs to the floor. "Shiiit," He bent over to retrieve them and his rear collided with the shower jellies. "Ah, fuck."

"Jean, be careful, those are expensive!!" Eren reprimanded him from across the store. "Also, you just murdered your own kind, in cold blood.. Sex Bomb."

“Whatever,” grumbled Jean, turning back to… uh, the customer. “Sorry about that.” he said, contradictory to his livid feeling towards Eren. “First day in this costume, ya know.. Still getting used to the steering radius, haha.”

The blonde didn’t seem to have caught on with his joke. “...Wha’?”

“Anyway,” Jean held up Granny Takes A Dip, showing off its bright colors. “This is it.” The blond fashionista’s eyes went wide at the sight of the bath bomb, gawking at it like it was some type of delicious candy. He reached out for it, stroking its powdery surface gingerly. “It’s nice in the bath. You can smell the spices in there… It’s made with black pepper and lemon and ginger oil. There’s also some gardenia extract as well.”

“It’s, like, sooo beautiful!” said the blonde. “Show me a demo,”

Jean internally sighed. “Oh, yeah,”

He turned to the demo tub cautiously, careful not to spill anything more than he already had.Twisting the tap, he filled the mock bathtub with water. The clear water was always satisfying to watch; it was refreshing just looking at it. Jean kind of wished to take a bath himself.

“Have you ever used a bath bomb before, um.. um...” Jean started.

“Armin,” said the blonde, introducing himself. “My name’s Armin.” He batted his lashes at Jean, something Jean turned a blind eye to, even if he did know it was a flirty, little advance toward him.

“Armin,” Jean repeated his name slowly. “Nice to meet you, Armin. Have you used a bath bomb before?”

Armin nodded. “Uh-huh! I love LUSH’s bath bombs. They’re the best, and super, like, natural, too.”

Jean smiled, enthused that Armin liked LUSH so much. “Awesome,” he said, keeping up his sales pitch voice. “Granny Takes A Dip is a bit different than a lot of the other ones. Many people just throw it in like a Frisbee, but I like to just lay it in there on the pink side only, and then watch it do its work.” He did so, gently placing the multi colored bath bomb into the water.

Fizzing, the bath bomb gave off a fluffy pink ring first, then turned a creamy pastel. Jean grinned when the blue started to disperse into the pink foam, watching Armin’s face go from awed to ecstatic. It began to spew a jet stream of blue, then orange, even green; all colors pastel and just as foamy as the last.

“This is super good for your skin,” explained Jean. “And it’s more like a medium fizzer. I’d say that it lasts for about six or seven minutes in the bath. Sometimes longer. Mine lasted ten last time.”

“Wow, that’s a long time.” Armin said, eyes still glued to the works of the bath bomb. “How much are these?”

Jean repeated what he had been told to memorize many times over, “It’s $6.95 each, right now, but you should hurry and stock up on them; I got word they’re being discontinued soon.”

“Really?” Armin shook his head. “What a shame. It’s, like, so pretty, too. Everything I would ever want.”

“I know,” Jean agreed. He liked the bath bomb, too. “But they do have a bubble bar of Granny Takes A Dip, though it’s not the same.”

Armin smiled when the bath bomb finished fizzing. “Can I feel the water?”

“Yeah,” Jean said. “Go ahead.”

As Armin swished around the magenta bath water in the tub, Jean began to think that being in the costume wasn’t so bad as he thought it would be. No one was giving him any lip for it except Eren, but Eren was going to give lip no matter how nice he was to him. If no one else was mocking him for it, perhaps he could survive this day at work.

“I’ll take as many as I can afford,” declared Armin in the next moment. “How much can I get for two-hundred?”

Jean almost gawked for a second before answering. “U-uh, well, two-hundred divided by six ninety-five is... twenty eight, about.” he estimated, wishing his mental math was a little better.

“Good,” Armin grinned. “I’ll take all twenty-eight.”

What? “L-let me see if we have that many on hand, okay?” Jean returned the smile shakily. This dude... gal... um... person was going to spend over two-hundred dollars just on bath bombs? Were they crazy or something? “I’ll be right back.”

“Sure, sure.” Armin kept playing with the bath water, massaging his hands and nails in it. “This is gonna be great for my skin routine,”

“I bet,” Jean said, leaving the fashionista’s side to waddle his way into the back room once again.

Locating the bath bombs, he pulled out the remaining stash of Granny Takes A Dip. _Please don’t be out of these, too_ , he thought, remembering how much flack he had gotten when selling out of Charity Pot lotion. He frowned, counting only fourteen of the bath bombs left. Maybe there were more in the front, if they weren’t already snatched up by the fanatic customers who came into the store for all the discontinued items.

Bringing the box out to the front, Jean checked on the display pile of Granny Takes A Dip, counting another twenty. Good, so he did have enough, and then some. He sighed with relief, picking up another fourteen and setting them with the remaining stash.

“Don’t let anyone touch this,” he told Marco, who was working as cashier. “It’s a customer’s purchase.”

Marco, counting change for one of the customers at the register, turned around, gasping when he saw the bath bombs. “All those?” he asked, looking as if he was going to throw a fit. “But those are our last ones! I like them!”

“I do too, but this customer is... something else.” Jean reminded himself to use appropriate language while on shift. He whispered, “This person... they’re _loaded_.”

“Ohhh, gotcha.” Marco mouthed to him as Jean penguin-walked back to Armin, “Good luck,”

Armin gave him a flashing grin. “So?” he said, as if he was expecting something.

“Sooo, we have all twenty-eight.” Jean informed the blonde. “Is there anything else I can get for you, or any questions I can answer?”

Armin pondered for a bit before saying, “You know, I think I do...”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” started Armin, pulling out a Sharpie from the back pocket of his booty-shorts; he handed it to Jean, holding out his wrist as if beckoning him to scrawl upon it in the dark, permanent ink. “Mind if I get your number? We could grab some coffee or something after,”

Jean gulped, whipping a quick glance at his manager. Thankfully, though, Eren was too busy rubbing a Strawberry Feels massage bar over some girl’s arm to notice Armin and Jean. It wouldn’t hurt to get a free coffee with this _gorgeous_ stranger, now would it?

“Sure,” Jean said, uncapping the Sharpie marker and quickly writing out his phone number onto Armin’s arm.

Giving Jean a wink, Armin thanked him. “See you around, stranger.” He then sauntered over to Marco, who rung up his mega purchase of bath bombs.

Jean had no idea what just happened.

* * *

By the time Armin had made a purchase, Jean was absolutely beat. Almost six hours had passed since he first clocked in, and he was ready for his break. Maybe he could get some noodles from the food court, slurp it down in three big gulps, and then pass out in his car for a while before he had to go back to selling LUSH products again. Unfortunately, he still had half an hour before his lunch break.

Just then, a gaggle of gals and pals alike came rushing into the store. Jean mentally slapped himself awake, dozing off in the last precious minutes of downtime he and his coworkers were able to get. This was going to either be another big purchase, or a major flop. Jean braced himself for, what he and the others expected to be, an hour of demoing and convincing the potential customers to buy at least one thing from the store.

There were always two types of customers: a lover of LUSH, more like an addict, and one who’s being converted into a LUSH addict. There was no in-between.

From what Jean could see, there was a group who seemed only interested in one side of the store. He felt as if his coworker, Annie, could handle it, since she was already bounding towards them. Then, there were a few other wandering customers; one of which stuck out to him the most.

Ey was peculiar, sniffing any and every product in the store. Not only that, but ey would do it in the most eccentric way; hold it up to eir nose, take a huge, long whiff of the product, exhale, and then sniff it lightly two times before putting whatever ey was looking at back on the display. Jean really didn’t want to confront em, but the look Eren gave him was almost deadly when he attempted to move to the side and pretend he wasn’t there. Jean grumbled under his breath before approaching the sniffing customer.

“Hi there,” he greeted em. “Can I help you look for something?”

Ey looked at him like a deer caught in headlights. “Uhh…”

“Hey, I’m Jean,”

“Ally,” ey replied.

Jean tried again, “Hey, um, you wanna try this new shower gel?” He brought over a container of the Yuzu and Cocoa shower gel, popping the cap open. “Here, take a whiff.”

Ey did, sniffing up the scrumptious, citrusy scent of the product. “Mmm,” Ey hummed. Jean guessed ey really liked it.

“It’s pretty awesome, I gotta tell ya,” Jean tried his sales pitch once more, acutely aware of Eren’s stare at the back of his... costume. “Would you like to try a sample?”

The potential customer shook eir head. “Let’s see a bath bomb demo instead. You got any of those?”

Taken aback, Jean blinked once, twice, three times before saying, “Um, yeah. Okay.”

But before he could call out to the customers that it was demo time, Ally was already shouting to all of eir friends to ‘get their asses over to the tub section and see how amaze-balls the bath bombs were’. Jean had his work cut out for him, apparently. Ally’s friends swarmed around Jean and the demo bathtub, giggling and laughing and waiting for Jean to show them how much a bath bomb could fizz.

“What are all y’all names?” Eren sidled up to Jean, addressing the crowd.

“I’m Ally,” Ally told him.

“My name is Carrie,” another said, smiling politely. Somehow, Carrie’s aura made Jean relax just a little bit; probably because she was so nice and didn’t try to spur on the craziness in the store like her other friends.

“Ty,” peeped someone who could pass as Eren’s doppelganger. Jean shuddered; what would it be like with _two_ Erens in his life? He didn’t want to know.

“Chels,”

“Caitlin,”

“Bel,” said one, then pointed at a guy. “And this is Phaeton.”

“Hey,” Phaeton squeaked, biting his lip.

The names continued:

“James,”

“Katie!”

“Riema,”

“Lonnie,”

“Alafiya,”

Eren clapped his hands. “And that’s all of you?” They nodded. “Nice to meet you all! Jean here is gonna be showing you the Sex Bomb bath bomb today, isn’t that right, Jean?” He nudged Jean in the costume, making the blonde frown a bit.

Jean changed his expression within a split second, knowing full well he was supposed to have a good attitude at work despite all the shit he was getting from Eren.

“That’s right,” he chirped (or at least tried to).

Em raised his hand like he was in class and not in a retail store. “Is that why you’re wearing the Sex Bomb costume?”

Jean sighed, “Yeah, I guess.”

“Whoooa, so cool!” Katie exclaimed. “Can I get a picture with you?”

“Of course,” Eren spoke for his employee, pushing him to the side so the flock could gather around and take a photo with Jean in his ridiculous Sex Bomb costume. “Here, everyone who wants a picture with the Sex Bomb, give me your phones so I can take a picture of y’all.”

Jean rolled his eyes when a bazillion iPhones and Androids came Eren’s way, all unlocked and waiting to snap a picture of the chaotic scene in the LUSH store. Eren deemed it better if everyone gathered as a group, directing the customers left or right, closer together or to shrink down so said person wasn’t blocking another person’s head.

“One, two, three, say cheese!” Eren took a few pictures on the first phone. “Okay, next!”

After about four phones in, Em announced, “Hey, I’ll just send the photos to everyone. We can’t stand here all day,”

“My cheeks are starting to hurt,” complained Bel.

So, the attention was back on Jean and the Sex Bomb demo. Eren took his leave, thank _god_ , to go help out other customers in the storefront.

“Who here has used this before?” Jean asked. A handful of his crowd raised their hands. “Okay, awesome. This bomb, living up to its name, is packed full with floral musk and scents that act as an aphrodisiac.” He passed the lopsided bath bomb he was about to use, letting the customers smell it. “It’s got jasmine absolute and essential oils like ylang ylang oil and clary sage, all really good for aromatherapy.”

A few scrunched up their nose at the bath bomb’s scent, but Jean didn’t say anything. He himself didn’t prefer the Sex Bomb’s smell, but he was selling a product. He had to make it seem like the best thing since sliced bread.

When he was handed back the bath bomb, Carrie asked, “What’s the rose in the middle made of?”

“Good question,” Jean answered, “It’s actually a rice paper flower, not a real rose bud, so it’ll float around in your tub and dissolve while you soak.”

This bit of information seemed to wow the crowd, but before Jean could decide it was time to give the bath bomb a test run in the water, someone else put forth a question about the Sex Bomb. Jean turned on the tap quickly, immediately answering the question with a friendly tone, but his patience was beginning to thin. He wanted to be over with this demo as quickly as possible, but the customers just weren’t letting him. It was getting close to his break, too, but Katie, Em, Ty, Ally... the rest of them weren’t letting up. He needed to sit down in silence for a while, but his job came first.

“Alright, alright,” Jean finally announced after he was done with a redundant question; he turned off the running water, exhaling through his nose. _Ten deep breaths, Jean. You can do it._ “Hold your questions for later, _y’all_.” He grimaced as he noticed how similar he sounded like Eren when saying ‘y’all’. “Now’s time for the fun part.” He got the bath bomb ready, gripping the top with his fingers, hovering it over the water. “Can I get a countdown?”

“Five,

four!

Three! Two!”

“Wait!” Eren shouted. “I wanna do it!”

 _No_ , Jean thought. _I will_. He definitely wasn’t going to let Eren do the demo. Not when he was the one wearing the bath bomb costume.

Jean hurled the Sex Bomb into the water just as he cannonballed into the demo tub as well, splashing turned-pink water into Eren’s face in vengeance. He flailed his arms about, hissing like a bath bomb would do, wading from one side of the tub to the other. Jean’s pants were getting soaked, but he didn’t care. This was well worth it. The crowd laughed, but Eren seemed none too pleased. But fuck Eren and his attitude. Jean had had it with his manager’s stinking snarky remarks and the whole ‘you’re perfect for this outfit’ ordeal. Jean wanted his break, and he wanted it now.

“That’s it, folks.” Jean proclaimed. “Go ahead and feel free to touch the water. This bomb’s gotta dry off.”

As he stepped out of the tub, everyone applauded. If there wasn’t a smile on a customer’s face when they first entered the store, there definitely was one now. Well, except for on Jean’s manager’s face. He couldn’t imagine that Eren would be happy about his absurd move just to spite him.

“Kirschstein!” Eren yelled as soon as Jean had clocked himself on break and shut the back door behind him. “What the _fuck_ were you thinking?”

Jean spat, “Sales. What else was I supposed to be thinking?” He waddled to a chair, sitting down with a watery squish.

“Oh, I don’t know,” Eren tutted, then, “Maybe that _the costume you’re wearing is damn expensive_?” He threw his hands up in the air. “And look! You got the whole floor sopping wet! Annie has to clean all of it up now. Bejeezus, I don’t even know why you’re still working at this place!”

Jean rolled his eyes. “Because you need me. I make sales.”

“No, I don’t need you.” Eren ground out.

“Mhm... and how much did we make in the past hour?” he smirked at his manager.

Eren huffed, opening up the back door to call, “Marco!!”

Jean’s coworker popped his head in, his cheeks a little flushed from being bombarded at the register with all the sales. If anything, he looked a little relieved to be called away from the craziness of it all. “Yes?”

“How much did we make in the last hour?”

“Oh, um,” Marco began to turn scarlet, rushing back to the cash register before running back with the total. “Well, Eren, it’s five-hundred more than what it was yesterday.”

“We already met our daily goal?” Eren looked shocked.

Marco gulped in nervousness. “Y-yeah, thanks to that one two-hundred dollar sale that almost cleared us of the Granny Takes A Dip.”

“See,” Jean remarked.

“Shut it.” Eren barked. “Thank you, Marco. Good job out there. Keep doing what you’re doing.”

But Marco did not move from the doorway, eyes fixed on Jean instead. He looked over at Eren, “Actually, it’s a minute until my break. Do you think I can take it as soon as I finish up on the register?”

“Which break?”

“My lunch break,” Marco said. “I mean, only if that’s okay with you...”

“Yeah... yeah, fine, go ahead.” Eren waved him off. “Go do what you gotta do and then take your break.”

Marco looked very pleased with his manager. “Thank you, Eren! I’ll get right to it.” His face lit up like a Christmas tree right before he took his position at the cash register once again.

Eren turned back to Jean. “Why can’t you be like him?” Jean wanted to sneer at his manager, but knew that it wouldn’t do him any justice. Instead, he just shrugged (or attempted to; he knew full well that Eren couldn’t see his shoulders moving inside the bath bomb costume), keeping to himself. “Fine. Take your fucking break and try to dry out those clothes.” Eren grunted, “And don’t do something like that again.”

“Yessir...” Jean taunted his manager, sniggering when Eren stiffly walked back into the storefront to take care of more customers.

It could have gone worse, according to Jean. Eren could have let him go from his job right then and there; he could have been walking out of LUSH Cosmetics with his head hung low and his posture sagging. But he wasn’t. No, thankfully Marco had been called over to praise Jean’s sales today. Jean couldn’t have been more thankful for that moment.

 _Speaking of the devil_ , Jean thought, watching as his savior walked through the door and into the storage room. Marco’s already-there smile widened when he saw Jean sitting in the same place he was when Eren was chewing him out.

“Oh, hi, Jean.” he greeted, rubbing at his nose a little.

“Yo,”

Jean tried to move to stand beside Marco, or at least offer his seat, when he discovered... he couldn’t. Again, he did his best to move his tush from the chair, but the water from the little dive he took into the demo tub collected at the bottom, weighing him down to the point of immobility. Frustrated, he rocked back and forth in his seat. Maybe if he could get enough force to push himself upward, he could stand up to take off the damn costume.

“Whoa!” Jean tipped forward then, his weight balancing from his heels to the balls of his feet... and further; he was falling towards the ground in this stupid Sex Bomb costume.

He landed with a bath bomb costume splat.

With his head spinning, Jean groaned, holding his head with a hand. He felt his face being tilted up, cheeks cupped in warm palms that belonged to none other than Marco Bodt, his coworker.

“Oh my god, Jean.” Marco panicked. “Are you alright? Can you speak? Does it hurt anywhere?”

“Mmph,” Jean was able to utter, the words still in broken syllables jumbled in his head. He pushed Marco’s assistance away. As much as he liked those comforting hands on him, he didn’t want to come off as helpless. He was already an adult. He could take care of himself... right?

In a push-up position, he struggled to get back on his feet. Two, three, four, twelve times, and Jean still couldn’t get up from the ground. He either hit his head really hard, or the bath bomb costume was just too bogged down with water for him to stand.

Marco rested his hands on his hips, staring pointedly at the blonde. “You can’t get up, can you?”

Jean dropped his head back down, cheek pressed snugly against the cold floor; he raised up his left arm, flipping Marco the bird ever-so-slowly and feeling a sense of arrogant pride when he heard a gasp come from Marco’s mouth. His coworker was on his knees in front of him within a second, and Jean braced himself to be hit. He deserved it, being such a prick to a good guy like Marco, but not one punch came in contact with him. Jean looked up in confusion.

And instead hit by the perfect view of Marco’s crotch. Jean gulped, eyes darting back down at the ground. A blush began to crawl over his face, his ears beginning to burn a bright red. Marco’s hands were back on him again, this time directing him out of his soaking outfit. His large palms ran and smoothed over Jean’s back within the bath bomb costume, pulling his arms to lift above his head. Jean did so, keeping his mouth shut and breathing shallowly through his nose, letting Marco pull the Sex Bomb off of his body. It felt like undressing, getting _naked_ , even though it was just a costume coming off. It was like Jean was being exposed to Marco... With an ‘oomph!’, the costume slid off of his body with a shucking sound.

Suddenly, Marco whipped around, swinging his legs over Jean’s hips and sinking _down_ towards the ground. Jean’s jaw dropped; he couldn’t look away from Marco’s hips. The way the front of his pants were bulging now, how tight his pants actually were- so snug they were almost like a second skin to Marco’s legs, how thick and delicious-looking his thighs were; Jean’s eyes took in all of this, his mind storing it in his memories for future jack-off material.

“Oh!” Jean squirmed when Marco’s ass ground down into his lap. He was sure the pink hue on his face had just burst into a full-fledged red.

Marco hummed, biting his lower lip, curled into a simper. He ground down again, rolling his hips a little this time. A tiny moan bubbled from Jean’s lips, hands immediately flying to grasp those plush hips of his. Why was Marco doing this? Jean had no idea, but he had absolutely no protests against it whatsoever. Oh god, Marco’s face was getting closer to his... he could almost _kiss him_.

Jean groaned when Marco (he could have swore) read his mind and brushed their lips together in a soft kiss, drawing his hips in a circle right above Jean’s lap. Jean chased him for more when he decided to pull back, yearning for more than just a chaste, little peck on the mouth. Marco obliged, kissing his coworker with a little more fervor, sucking at Jean’s bottom lip when their actions became bolder after a few moments. Jean opened his mouth, inviting him in, and he delved deep into that hot cavern, tongue eager to start exploring.

“Hmmn,” Something in Jean tickled when their tongues met, touching by the tip, poking and prodding at each other shyly before they began to slide against one another, not so much massaging the other’s tongue as just rubbing them together, much like what Marco was doing with his ass on Jean’s pants-trapped dick.

They traced the ridges of the roofs of their mouths, all the way to their gums, finding a good spot in the middle, lips smashed together as if they were trying to meld into one. Jean felt Marco shift, his legs spreading wider and his torso pressing up against Jean’s, allowing him to lie on Jean more comfortably. It was like Jean was being smothered in Marco, someone who was usually so perky; innocent and such a goodie-two-shoes. How wrong he was to think of that. Marco was _much_ more than just ‘a nice guy’.

Marco broke the kiss in desperate need of oxygen, eyes becoming glazed over with what looked like lust and some sort of need that Jean couldn’t wrap his head around. He began to gyrate against Jean, hands now braced in the middle of the blonde’s sternum, gentle enough not to hurt him.

It was getting hot. Too hot, hot damn. _Someone_ , Jean thought. _Needs to call the police and the firemen_. Damn Bruno Mars for singing such a catchy song.

“M-marco,” he heard himself whimper, eyebrows starting to furrow as his member strained at the confinements of water-drenched pants. “Oh god, Marco,”

Marco’s freckles seemed to stand out in contrast to his flushed face, his mouth slightly agape as he continued to assert himself into pleasuring them with the torturous friction. His skin was on fire; he needed to be in contact with Jean without the obstacle called clothing in the way. He paused his motions to ruck up Jean’s shirt, trying to get it off of him. Jean caught wind of his intentions, untangling himself from his work shirt and throwing it somewhere he didn’t care to aim for. He nudged at the hem of Marco’s shirt, begging him to do the same. Soon, both of them were bare from the waist up.

Marco ran his hand through Jean’s blond hair, tugging on it slightly before drawing back, “You don’t know how long I have been looking at you,” he said, voice rough and low, sending shivers down Jean’s spine.

“Marco,” Jean whispered.

“ _Ah_ , ever since you came through that storefront with your freaking French Kiss bubble bar-like cover letter,” continued Marco, fingers making haste to undo both their pants zippers. “You looked so professional on your first day, giving everyone hand massages when recommending a lotion... I had to _plead_ Eren to consider hiring you, even though he knew you were already the right one for this job.” He baited his breath when he pulled down his boxers, freeing his stiff cock from his pants. “He likes you, Jean. Everyone likes you. But I’m going to, mm, I’m going to get to you first.” Marco stroked his cock in a loose, three-fingered grip, then let go, the head slapping close to Jean’s navel. “That was so unfair, giving that customer your number. Ugh, I’m jealous.”

“F-fuck,” Jean couldn’t believe his ears, his brain trying its best to process everything he was being told. Had Marco really wanted him this entire time? Did Eren actually like him? Did anyone? But Marco could never lie to someone, especially not Jean. His tone of voice seemed too real, too sincere to be lying through his teeth. Besides, Armin _had_ asked for his number earlier, so yes, he could maybe believe people liked him.

He also couldn’t believe how long and _big_ Marco’s cock really was. It looked delicious; something that he would love to shove into his mouth and suck on like a lollipop all day, every day, lapping up its unique taste that belonged only to Marco himself.

Marco dug his hand into Jean’s underwear, fondling the tip of Jean’s dick, making him keen at his touch. “I like you, Jean. I want you.” he declared in a hushed tone, as if someone besides Jean would hear him.

Jean swallowed, an overwhelming sense of self-boosting pride swelling up inside of him. He grasped Marco by the neck to pull him down for another kiss. When they parted for air, he put his forehead against Marco’s, gazing into the other’s chocolate eyes. Marco made a whining sound, redirecting their attention on their lower regions, freeing Jean’s cock; it sprung up from its confines. The cool atmosphere hitting it made Jean hiss slightly, reaching to grab at Marco’s member to give his partner some pleasure, too.

Fingers clenched at the waistband of Jean’s pants, Marco moaned, drawing nearer to lap and nip at Jean’s neck. He created wet trails along Jean’s Adam’s apple, down the column of his throat; around his defined collar bones. His right hand went around Jean’s cock, jerking it upward in a strong, quick rhythm. Adrenaline and endorphins swam through the blonde’s system, earning Marco a loud grunt in response, Jean’s muscles tensing just a little before relaxing again, melting into his touch.

Dripping precome onto Jean’s abdomen, he declared, “Not enough, need more,”

Marco stumbled to his feet, letting go of Jean in the process. Before Jean could whine in protest, however, he wiggled his way out of his black-colored bottoms, kicking them and his shoes away from the scene, leaving himself completely free of clothing whatsoever. He was showing Jean everything he had, everything he was born with. Jean stared up in awe as he watched Marco pump his erection firmly above him.

He wanted that dick of Marco’s in his mouth, in his hands, in his _ass_ , anything and anywhere he could get it; the yearning for Marco overcame him and he sat up to kneel, taking Marco’s cock and engulfing it into his mouth, sucking on it as hard as he could.

“Jean!” Marco gasped, grasping his hair, bunching it up in his hold. Jean continued to blow him, stuffing the head right into the pocket of his cheek.

Jean slurped at his partner’s cock in earnest, savoring the musky, salty-thick taste. Marco was so big; he could barely keep him in his mouth. But that never stopped him from anything. In fact, he welcomed it, releasing Marco’s dick from his lips, only to dive in and suckle along the sides, kissing and licking it like it was some marshmallow treat that was his favorite. Something in his gut told him no one else would taste as good as Marco, that Marco was the only one for him from this point out; all other options be damned.

Marco’s jaw clacked, “Ahn! Jean, please... god, that feels so _good_.” He drew back to put the tip back to Jean’s parted lips, watching the copious amount of precome drip down his crush’s rose petals for a mouth. He swallowed hard, trying to prevent himself from pouncing Jean and fucking him raw. “How comfortable are you at... um...” Marco paused, unsure of his sentence.

Quirking a brow, Jean spoke, “You _know_ you can tell me, Marco.” He was curious to see how Marco was _not_ like how he imagined.

“C-can you...” Marco lowered his voice, murmuring, “Can you deep-throat?”

Jean froze. He sat there, processing the question and looking at Marco for a long time, enough to get both of them uncomfortable from the awkward silence. However, when he came back, he was more than pleased to resume right where he left off, flashing Marco a devilish grin before shoving the entire girth of Marco’s member in his mouth and down his throat. Marco flung his head back, slapping a hand over his mouth to muffle his loud cry. The immense heat of Jean’s mouth made his nerves go crazy, his neurons firing to his brain in a frenzy that made him moan when Jean started to _bob his fucking head_ , tonguing along the vein that was located on the underside of his cock. It was like he had dunked himself into a scalding bath too quickly, the feeling pleasurable and hot on the verge of painful, all at the same time.

Jean was just _so amazing_. Marco knew that Jean could almost _feel_ all the sensitive ridges and edges of his member, as he paid particular attention to them when sliding up, then teasing his vein when going down. It was, by far, the best blowjob he could have ever experienced. If only they weren’t in the back of LUSH Cosmetics and doing this at home, (at Jean’s home maybe) everything would be a lot more mushy and heartfelt. Oh well.

When Marco was beginning to get the tingling in the core of his stomach, he eased Jean back again, giving him an affectionate caress on the cheek. “You’re super,” he complimented. “Let me do something, too.”

“Mmm,” hummed Jean, clearly liking the idea. He got comfy, lying down on his back, legs parted as far as they could go in his work pants, starting to wiggle out of them. He slid them, along with his undergarments, down to his ankles, waiting for Marco to do the honors and strip him bare. “Come here, tiger,” he beckoned, crooking a finger at the man standing above him, his dripping erection glistening wetly in the light.

With a deep growl, Marco dropped down onto his knees, ripping the pants from Jean; he lined up his cock with Jean’s, rubbing his along the blonde’s, a lewd whine spilling from him. They closed in for a heated kiss, teeth clicking together, Marco’s hands roaming the plains of Jean’s chest and abs, trailing across his narrow sides. Sure, Jean was a lot leaner than Marco, but that didn’t make him any less attractive. He was hot; even the sensation of feeling up Jean’s skin and body excited the freckled LUSH employee.

Two fingers crept their way to Jean’s luscious mouth, two fingers of which were vacuumed straight passed Jean’s mouth to mingle with an eager tongue. Jean coated them generously, running his muscle over textured finger pads, softly nipping at Marco’s fingers to get some reaction out of him. He was not disappointed, being choked momentarily by Marco’s digits as a warning. It only brought his blood to even more of a boil than it already was. He tried it again, the sensation something he yearned for after every few coats of saliva around those fingers, being rewarded each time.

“Bejeezus, Jean,” Marco breathed, taking his fingers from Jean’s luxurious mouth. He brought them down to the blonde’s dick, wrapping his hand around it. “You’re unbelievable.”

Jean smirked, lips swollen from all his previous administrations. “Well, you better believe it,”

He would have said more if not for Marco, who pulled his dick up, then stroked down, a loud moan bubbling from Jean’s mouth. He whimpered Marco’s name, licking his lips and staring into his partner’s warm eyes. Not a sound came from either one of them besides the heavy panting of breath, Marco giving pleasure to Jean like he wanted to. He suctioned Jean’s nipple, teasing the perking bud before deciding to leave a hickey there, earning a gasp from Jean. He then moved away, looking for something in the boxes of merchandise.

Jean rolled over to ask him, “What are you looking for?”

“Aha,” Marco beamed, tip-toeing back to his partner. In his hand was a small bottle of Karma lotion. He shrugged. “It’ll have to do for now. I don’t think you brought any lube with you to work, did you?”

“I wasn’t really planning this, actually.” laughed Jean, shaking his head. He got on all fours, sticking out his ass and showing it off. “Hurry, don’t wanna be late clocking back in.”

Marco rolled his eyes for the first time Jean had ever seen since he knew him. “I told Eren to extend our breaks. I’m not going to let you off that quick,”

Jean bit his lip when he heard the cap pop open, imagining Marco spreading the lotion on his spit-slick fingers. He pressed back when a finger prodded at his entrance, welcoming it in as it sank in slowly. The temporary discomfort was there, sure, but Jean knew it was going to get better. Immediately, he clenched around the finger, as if trying to take it into his deepest spot. Marco, swept away by the sight of him fingering his crush, paid little attention to Jean’s reaction, exploring Jean’s insides with the tip of his finger. It was so silky in there, so soft, and yet the muscles were firm, and he knew that he would need more than just one finger to open Jean up for his cock. Oh my god. Slipping another into Jean, his eyes drank in the wonderful way Jean’s sphincter fluttered around them.

“Ahh!” Jean automatically quietened himself after, forcing himself to relax around Marco’s digits. He rocked his hips back, drool running from the corner of his mouth.

Marco scissored him, stretching him open for a third finger. He groaned as well, dick growing harder at everything he was seeing, thanking human design for giving him such a great set of eyes; to thank design for making Jean’s ass a work of art. Truly.

Jean’s eyes widened when something in him sparked, overflowing his senses with pleasure. His elbows buckled, and he lowered his bust to the ground, turning his face to have a glimpse at Marco prepping him. He whimpered, bringing Marco’s attention back to his face. He looked so desperate and needy, shivering in delight; all of Marco’s actions were driving him crazy. His sweet spot was getting abused, making it hard to focus. He rolled his hips, signaling to his freckled partner that he was ready to move on to the main course.

The freckled LUSH employee sighed shakily, pulling his fingers out of Jean, reaching for the bottle of lotion again. He spread a good amount on himself, shivering at the cold temperature of the makeshift lube. At least it smelled good, like oranges and patchouli.

Jean reached back, spreading his cheeks for Marco, looking back in a pleasing way. He needed Marco in him _now_. Any longer, and he would really fling himself off his rocker. Whining, he felt Marco’s bulbous tip line up with his pucker, wet with spit, precome, and lube. He couldn’t wait for Marco to fuck him to oblivion.

“Don’t got a-all day, Marco,” he halfheartedly complained. “Come on in,” He flexed his back once, then twice, in a twerking fashion, knowing full well that it made his ass jiggle the way girls’ did on Instagram.

“Wait,” Marco reached for his pants, fumbling through the pockets until he attained a condom, quickly ripping open the packaging and rolling on the protection over himself. Stroking it, he lubed himself up again for a smoother slide, then went back to Jean.

His mouth went wide when Marco indulged, taking his time thrusting gently into Jean. There was a slight burning pain, yes, but Jean could handle it; he brought his fist to his mouth, biting it to cope. Eventually, it dissipated, leaving way to the pleasure of Marco sinking all the way to the hilt, his balls tapping Jean’s glorious bum.

They stayed like that for some time, silent and still besides for the inhales and exhales by both Jean and Marco. Marco was too scared to say anything, instead waiting for a signal, anything, from Jean that said he was allowed to move. And then he did, hips rolling back onto Marco’s like a gentle tidal wave crashing upon a reef. Marco held his breath, letting himself begin a grinding rhythm that pulled out adorable sounds from Jean.

“ _Ahmn_!” Jean pursed his lips together in vain, trying to contain his voice in fear that someone might hear them from the storefront.

Marco leaned forward, whispering into Jean’s ear, “Jean,” He licked the shell of his ear. “Jean, I wanna hear you. Don’t be shy, love.”

Jean wheezed, freeing his pressed-together lips to let out another moan, this time loud and clear for his freckled partner. He began to press back on Marco; every time Marco would thrust forward, Jean would roll back, their thrusts slamming harder and harder by the minute.

Marco tipped his head back, relishing how _hot_ and _tight_ Jean was. It was like he has entered lava, lava that was hot and steamy, pressurized, and was ultimately going to melt his dick. But it seemed like he wasn’t the only one melting. In fact, Jean was much the same. Marco was so thick and fucking _huge_ inside of him, always almost brushing his sweet spot with every thrust and shake and grind. He was so deep and full of him. It was so good; Jean could barely think. Moans and praises seeped just as much as drool did from his mouth, complimenting the noises of their bout of sex that filled the air. It felt so good, and yet there was something lacking in the moment.

Jean clawed at the ground, mewling instead of moaning, furrowing his brows and doing his best to turn his head around and look at Marco. Just as Marco hit a good spot in him again, he shrank away, wanting something else; something different. It left Marco nothing if not confused.

“No,” he mumbled.

A strike of anxiety ran through Marco’s head. “No? ‘No’, what?” Was Jean pushing him away? After all this? Maybe Marco was hurting Jean and didn’t know it. Maybe he wasn’t as good as he thought he was. Maybe their chemistry was all wrong and Jean just realized it in a split moment; now.

Grunting, the blonde turned over onto his back, hands reaching toward Marco. His legs opened invitingly, thighs quivering from the previous, cut-short session.

“Come on,” he said. “Fuck me, Marco.”

Marco moaned, covering his mouth as he crawled forward to join with Jean. “Oh, _Jean_ ,”

They sighed together, Jean’s ass sheathing Marco’s dick once more. This time, though, Jean wrapped his arms around Marco’s torso, fingers massaging freckled shoulders. He could see his partner’s face now; that cinnamon-flecked face that always brought customers into LUSH Trost. The face that always smiled when he saw Jean. The face that belonged to Marco Bodt, the one and only. Jean’s vision zeroed in on Marco’s pink lips, thirsting for a much-needed kiss.

And kiss he got. Marco shoved open Jean’s mouth with his dexterous tongue, licking all over. They battled for dominance before Jean surrendered in the sweetest way, hands gliding and soothing the skin over his partner’s back, easing up his fight and languidly coaxing Marco’s tongue so that they were dancing together.

Marco’s thrusts became slower, more careful and loving, rocking Jean with them like they were on a boat in gentle waves. Their breaths went from shallow and ragged to deep and in-sync with each other. They moved together, Jean clinging to Marco with his arms and legs around the freckled man like a koala. He let out breathy sighs and moans. The ‘yes’s and ‘right there… Oh, that’s so _good_ ’s and ‘more, Marco’s invigorated Marco to go farther, deeper, closer than before, hiding his face in the crook of Jean’s neck, taking in Jean’s musky, sweet scent. Much like the Sex Bomb. Oh, and how Marco loved that smell. He began to nip and suck at the skin there, feeling a sense of possessiveness toward Jean.

“Hnngh,” he moaned against damp, sweaty skin. “Mine,”

Jean, with hair mussed up, nodded frantically. “Yes, yes, yours,” he cried out, legs lifting a bit more.

“All _mine_ ,” Marco withdrew from his hiding spot on Jean’s neck, hands gripping the blonde’s legs and hiking them over his shoulders. He began to piledrive into his partner.

“Marco!” Jean’s eyes widened, the light showing off his gorgeous hazelish eyes. His pupils dilated, gazing up at Marco, who looked like a god to him; the light haloed around his head, making him look pure and awesome.

Jean was nearly bent in half when Marco pressed in further. He screamed, not able to hold back his voice any longer. Marco was right there, up against his prostate, sliding over and bumping it with each movement; white sparks burst behind his eyes, his whole being literally shaking with pleasure. To be claimed as Marco’s, now that was something he couldn’t ever say no to. Marco was the perfect match for Jean, body, soul, and mind.

“Ah, M-ah- _ahh_!!” Jean drew his blunt nails down his partner’s shoulders, scratching at his ribcage. He brought his knees together, feeling a familiar tightening in his stomach. He was going to come, and he knew it. “Oh, fuck!”

“Jean,” Marco kissed him messily on the cheek. “Oh god, I’m not gonna last too long,”

Jean bit his lip, whimpering slightly. He was too blown to respond, seeing not just the stars but also the whole universe, his pupils so wide that it made his eyes unbelievably shiny and dark, the black almost swallowing the pretty whiskey color whole except for the tiny sliver at the edges. He soaked in Marco’s face with those dilated eyes, loving the way he blushed a pretty rose color down to his neck, finding it sexy how bitten Marco’s lips looked. If Jean could describe Marco’s lips, they were a pretty cherry with a natural gloss that plumped them to their fullest, leaving them looking almost like pillows. Jean loved it, and he reached forward to trace his finger around that softness.

Marco’s lips stretched around a pent up groan, tongue sliding out to hang out so he could pant like a dog. He looked so beastly like that, Jean could have sworn; something in him snapped, drowning him in a wash of unexpected ecstasy, leaving him ogling with bewildered amber eyes at the galaxies above him, stars bursting and colliding with each other and watching nebulae do their thing and black holes closing as if they could sew themselves away into the fabric of space, leaving nothing behind. Jean came, his body quaking from the intensity of his orgasm.

His partner wasn’t too far behind, chanting Jean’s name like a mantra, his hips speeding up to full-throttle. Marco clenched up, muscles beginning to feel sore and cramp. When Jean came, he growled, feeling the full effects of Jean’s insides spasming, tightening and squeezing him, as if Jean was trying to tip him over the edge and milk him of all that he had.

Marco howled, pulling out quickly and ripping off the condom, coming all over Jean in long, powerful spurts. His world exploded around him, drowning him in orgasmic pleasure, eyes crossing at the intensity of it all. Slumping down into his own mess upon Jean’s skin, he came down from his high, eyesight unfocused and hazy... until he heard a fizzing noise in the direction of Jean’s head.

“Aw, shit,” he panicked, scrambling up from his afterglow. He sighed, falling to his knees in front of an open box, wiping at the merchandise that was starting to dissolve.

Jean rolled over despite the sticky mess on his abdomen, throwing a concerned look at Marco. “What happened? Why’d you get off of me? I’m not _that_ bony, am I?”

“No, Jean, you’re not-- oh shit, shit, shit, the Fizzbangers,” Marco grumbled under his breath, trying to save the bath bombs. “I fucking...” Marco huffed, pulling out a load of yellow bath bombs out of the box and setting them on the floor. Scooting closer, Jean examined the Fizzbanger bath bombs. Each looked fine, looked perfect. Well, except for the fizzing, bubbling streak across the tops of them.

“Is that..?” Jean didn’t finish his question, not believing his eyes. Did Marco just..?

His freckled partner nodded. “These are yours now.” he groaned, pushing them over to Jean. “The shop can’t use jizzed-up bath bombs,”

Jean’s face cracked in two with a laughing grin. “Oh my god, Marco!” he shrieked, rocking onto his haunches. “You came that much... that far?” He had to hold back his giggles, which fluttered in his throat like tiny butterflies. “That’s some amazing strength you got there.”

Marco rolled his eyes. “Tell me about it.” He closed in for a kiss, smooching Jean sweetly. He laid himself out, hands all over Jean, breaking the kiss to stick his tongue out when his fingers caught their mixed come from Jean’s abdomen and the floor. “Oh, ew, Jean. Making a mess here, are we?”

It was Jean’s turn to roll his eyes. “It’s technically your fault, dude.”

“Yeah, right,”

Just then, the door to the backroom slammed open with a loud bang.

Eren looked so pissed off, like his day couldn’t get any worse. “You two better not be macking on each other! What’s taking you so fucking lon--,” His eyes went wide in realization when he saw his two employees stark naked on the floor next to each other. “Holy bejeezus!” He turned away, face red as a tomato. “Put some fucking clothes on and get back to your job! I’m not going to tell you again!” Eren stumbled to the storefront again.

“Yes, sir,” Jean smirked. How did Eren like them apples? He had officially ticked off his manager; first, the bath bomb incident, and now _this_. Oh, revenge was sweet.

“S-shut the hell up, Kirschstein!” flustered Eren, shutting the door firmly behind him.

When Jean turned back to Marco, he looked horrified. Jean snorted, “Don’t make that face. It’s going to stay that way.”

Marco buried his freckled face in his hands. “Oh my god. I can’t believe he saw us like this. This is so embarrassing. I feel _ashamed_.”

Jean grinned devilishly, nudging his coworker. “And what if I said that I thought it was hot and I kinda wanna do it again with you?”

Jean swore he could see Marco’s ears glow red. “Jean!”

He laughed. “I like you, Freckles.”

Marco popped his head up, surprised. “R-really?” he asked, eyes widening slightly.

Jean hummed, nodding. “Yeah. I like you, Marco.”

Marco looked like he was almost about to cry.

“Hurry up in there, dick-munchies!” Eren shouted, cracking open the door again to find that Jean and Marco still weren’t dressed. “Before I fire both of you,” he murmured, gaze lingering on them a little too long.

 

Later, when Jean came home, he was dead-tired. Turns out, Eren didn’t fire them after all. He was able to finish up his shift peacefully, but not without making gross goo-goo eyes at Marco every time they passed by one another. He promised to text Marco later (he got his number from the office), but not before a bath with the half-jizzed on Fizzbangers. Thinking about it now, he realized that he hadn’t actually ever used a Fizzbanger before. This was going to be something new for him. Jean filled up the tub, ready for a nice bath.

The Fizzbanger landed with a deafening thud at the bottom of the tub, before floating up, when Jean dropped it into the bath. Bits of Fizzbanger came up to the surface, starting to foam a pretty yellow and blue. Then, in the center of it all, Jean noticed a piece of paper in the water. Picking it up carefully, he read the damp slip. “Bang!” it said.

Jean smirked. Oh yes, they did.

**Author's Note:**

> Uptown, funk you up...  
> (Did that get stuck in your head while reading?)
> 
> Hope y'all enjoyed this majorly crack-y fanfiction. It was too fun to write.  
> Liked it? Loved it? Let me know what you thought of it by leaving a kudo and a comment if you wish! 
> 
> Thank you so much, and I'll see you around with a new part of the Epics!  
> 


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